---
title: If Not Now, When? Overcoming Fear & Helplessness | Heidi Rimstad
description: Feeling stuck? We explore 'If not now, when?' and how to move from hesitation to empowerment. Learn to navigate the risks of change and find purpose.
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---

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[Contact Heidi](https://heidirimstad.com/contact)

 Feb 15, 2026 10:11:07 AM

# The Courage of Starting Now: Overcoming the Fear of Change

[Heidi Rimstad](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/author/heidi-rimstad)

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![Feeling stuck? We explore 'If not now, when?' and how to move from hesitation to empowerment. Learn to navigate the risks of change and find purpose.](https://heidirimstad.com/hs-fs/hubfs/If%20Not%20Now%2c%20When%20Overcoming%20Fear%20%26%20Helplessness.png?width=2240&height=1260&name=If%20Not%20Now%2c%20When%20Overcoming%20Fear%20%26%20Helplessness.png)

If Not Now, When? If Not Us, Who?

“The phrase ‘If not now, when?’ originates from the ancient Jewish sage Hillel the Elder, found in the Talmud’s Ethics of the Fathers, encouraging immediate self-improvement and action. It has since been adapted and used by many, including public figures such as Barack Obama and John Lewis, often as part of the phrase, ‘If not us, who? If not now, when?’”

 — a quote from a quick Google search.

I also have a pin hanging in my office that asks the same question: If not now, when? ![Pin with the quote 'If not now, when?' pinned on an office wall, inspiring personal growth and immediate action.](https://heidirimstad.com/hs-fs/hubfs/If%20Not%20Now%2c%20When-Pin.png?width=280&height=235&name=If%20Not%20Now%2c%20When-Pin.png)

## Recognizing the Resistance to Change

This question feels especially alive for me right now—personally and collectively. I have conversations with friends about what is happening in Minnesota and in the world, and sometimes the response is, “There’s nothing I can do anyway.” I have a parent who needs to use a walker but resists doing so. When their doctor asked, “How will you know when you need to use one?” they didn’t have an answer. I work with people who know what might help them live in ways that feel more aligned, yet making even small shifts toward change can feel uncomfortable and frightening.

I include myself in this, too—knowing what I want, yet hesitating to make the strides, shifts, or decisions that could set me on a different trajectory.

## Is It Fear or Learned Helplessness?

Is this helplessness—learned or programmed? Is it societal conditioning that teaches us not to challenge authority or disrupt the system? Is it difficulty in seeing ourselves clearly? I find I have more questions than answers. And this post may not land in a perfectly tied-up conclusion, which feels fitting. We are never finished. Every moment offers another chance to learn, to see differently, and to do a little better—not in a heavy or discouraging way, but as an ongoing invitation to growth.

## The Vulnerability of Breaking Old Patterns

Change is risky. Showing up differently—in our thoughts, actions, beliefs, and decisions—can leave us temporarily vulnerable. We may encounter people or systems that prefer us unchanged, comfortable, and predictable. When we shift, people notice. We carry ourselves differently. We speak differently. We begin to release old patterns of thinking, believing, and acting.

We may risk losing relationships that no longer fit. We may feel unsettled, restless, or uncertain before finding new steadiness. We may also discover passion, clarity, and purpose that were previously out of reach. I once read a quote (I’m not sure who said it): “Standing for your beliefs costs comfort, but silence costs your soul.” That one stays with me.

## How to Start: Choosing the Next Step

So perhaps the answer is simple, even if the path is not: *Now is now, and the how is ongoing*. We are learning, unlearning, and rebuilding at the same time. The important thing is to notice the options that are available to us and begin somewhere—small, medium, or large. What matters is choosing one step, and then another, and allowing momentum to build.

If you are wanting support, or a space to explore your options and next steps, I would be honored to work with you through [Reiki](https://heidirimstad.com/reiki) or [therapy](https://heidirimstad.com/liminal-space-counseling-services). You do not have to navigate this uncertainty alone—[reach out today](https://heidirimstad.com/contact), and let’s find your starting point together.

[Reiki](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/reiki), [Mental Health](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/mental-health), [Growth Mindset](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/growth-mindset), [Empowerment](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/empowerment), [Self-worth](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/self-worth), [Personal Growth](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/personal-growth), [Well-being](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/well-being), [Self-compassion](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/self-compassion), [Emotional Responsibility](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/emotional-responsibility)

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 Apr 1, 2025 8:00:00 AM

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