The Art and Importance of Being Gentle

I recently went to the chiropractor for what I had self-diagnosed as sciatica, cortisol overload, or the early signs of needing a total hip replacement. (Turns out, it was sciatica—so no, I can’t blame peri-menopause, and thankfully, I don’t need surgery. Also, my doctor kindly reminded me that my Instagram “experts” might not always be the most reliable. Who knew? Haha.)

As we discussed treatment options and exercises I could do at home to ease the nerve pain, he instructed me to sit upright and lift my leg. The dutiful patient that I am—trained in the “no pain, no gain” mindset—I raised my leg high, wincing through the discomfort. He quickly corrected me: “Lift your leg until you feel pain—then lower it.”

What?!

“I want this to be gentle,” he added.

Double what!?

At first, I was dumbfounded. But then...it clicked. Gentle. Of course.

In Brianna Wiest’s book The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery, she writes, “Small shifts, compounded over time, can result in permanent baseline adjustments” (p. 18). That line echoed in my head as I realized I’m in the middle of rewiring two deep-rooted patterns:

1. The reflex to overachieve, push through, and “do more”—even at the cost of ignoring what my body is telling me, often to appear cooperative, productive, or “healthy” to others.
2. The need to create space in my nervous system for new messages—messages that support healing, wholeness, and long-term well-being.

Gentle is not weak. It’s powerful.

Gentle is where true and lasting change begins.

I see this all the time in therapy when a client has a breakthrough and then feels frustrated it “took so long” to arrive. Or in Reiki sessions, when someone touches into deep peace, only to beat themselves up for not being able to stay in that state.

I always say: if we learned everything in one dramatic moment, we’d be overwhelmed. We wouldn’t be able to integrate it. Lasting change requires pace, space, and patience. That’s the gift of gentleness—it gives us the ability to gradually raise our baseline tolerance and create space for sustainable transformation.

So here’s my invitation to you:

Take a moment to reflect on where gentleness could be infused into your life. Start by simply noticing. Awareness often reveals patterns. And once you see the pattern, you can begin to gently shift—whether in your doing, thinking, feeling, or being.

If you’d like support in learning how to infuse more gentleness into your life, reach out, I’m here to help.