---
title: "Why Wallowing Matters: Feeling Your Feels Without the Fake Positivity"
description: Embrace your emotions without toxic positivity. Discover why feeling your feels matters—and how to find your next right step toward healing and growth.
image: https://heidirimstad.com/hubfs/Canva%20images/Waves%20ebbing%20and%20flowing-representing%20emotional%20tides.png
---

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 May 1, 2025 9:19:11 AM

# Why Wallowing Matters: Feeling Your Feels Without the Fake Positivity

[Heidi Rimstad](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/author/heidi-rimstad)

Share: [facebook-f icon](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https://heidirimstad.com/blog/why-wallowing-matters-feeling-your-feels-without-the-fake-positivity) [linkedin-in icon](http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https://heidirimstad.com/blog/why-wallowing-matters-feeling-your-feels-without-the-fake-positivity) [X Twitter icon](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://heidirimstad.com/blog/why-wallowing-matters-feeling-your-feels-without-the-fake-positivity) [pinterest-p icon](http://pinterest.com/pin/create/link/?url=https://heidirimstad.com/blog/why-wallowing-matters-feeling-your-feels-without-the-fake-positivity) [envelope icon](mailto:?body=https://heidirimstad.com/blog/why-wallowing-matters-feeling-your-feels-without-the-fake-positivity)

![Waves ebbing and flowing-representing emotional tides](https://heidirimstad.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Canva%20images/Waves%20ebbing%20and%20flowing-representing%20emotional%20tides.png?width=500&height=281&name=Waves%20ebbing%20and%20flowing-representing%20emotional%20tides.png)As a mental health therapist and energy worker, I love and value a good wallow. The chance to *feel your feels*, sit with your thoughts, and be in whatever comes up—despair, sadness, loneliness, irritation, envy, injustice (insert your wallow word of choice)—is essential.

You can’t rush your way out of discomfort or slap on fake or premature positivity and expect to heal.

I also deeply value the effort it takes to take a step beyond the wallow.

You might be wondering: *“What is this next step?”*

Let me tell you—it's the **next right step**.

The “good vibes only” mentality often ignores or invalidates real emotions. But when you allow yourself to embrace the full spectrum of the human experience, it keeps you anchored in authenticity.

This doesn't mean you let your emotions make your decisions for you. It means you create space to feel, reflect, and then move forward—guided by what the experience has taught you.

## So how do you find the next right step?

### It often becomes clear when you:

- Acknowledge your emotions and thoughts without judgment
- Use supportive, not dismissive, language (e.g., avoid “others have it worse” comparisons)
- Identify and name what you’re feeling—honor and validate your experience
- Allow those emotions to guide you toward intentional, meaningful action
- Practice holding space for yourself
- Trust your voice and your lived experience

### The next right step might not appear if you:

- Avoid or suppress your emotions
- Ignore the lessons or messages within the experience
- Try to bypass discomfort with forced positivity
- Shame yourself for being in a “low frequency” or difficult emotional space

Remember: **real positivity holds space for real feelings**.

Authenticity isn’t about being happy all the time—it’s about being real, feeling deeply, and moving forward in alignment with your truth.

## Looking for support in finding your next right step? 

[**Book a Reiki session**](https://heidirimstad.com/reiki) to reset your energy or [**schedule a therapy consultation**](https://heidirimstad.com/liminal-space-counseling-services) to move forward with clarity.

[Have Questions? Contact Me](https://heidirimstad.com/contact)

[Mental Health](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/mental-health), [Self-worth](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/self-worth), [Personal Growth](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/personal-growth), [Well-being](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/well-being), [Self-compassion](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/self-compassion)

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## [What I Really Mean When I Say, “I Don’t Make You Feel Anything”](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/what-i-dont-make-you-feel-anything-really-means)

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 Oct 20, 2025 3:04:24 PM

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[Reiki](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/reiki), [Mental Health](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/mental-health), [Growth Mindset](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/growth-mindset), [Empowerment](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/empowerment), [Self-worth](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/self-worth), [Personal Growth](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/personal-growth), [Well-being](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/well-being), [Self-compassion](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/self-compassion), [Emotional Responsibility](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/emotional-responsibility)

## [The Courage of Starting Now: Overcoming the Fear of Change](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/if-not-now-when-overcoming-fear)

[Heidi Rimstad](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/author/heidi-rimstad) 

 Feb 15, 2026 10:11:07 AM

If Not Now, When? If Not Us, Who? “The phrase ‘If not now, when?’ originates from the ancient...

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[Reiki](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/reiki), [Mental Health](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/mental-health), [Work-life Balance](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/work-life-balance), [Personal Growth](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/personal-growth), [Well-being](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/well-being), [Self-compassion](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/self-compassion), [Self-care](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/tag/self-care)

## [When Stillness IS Action](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/when-stillness-is-action-nervous-system-regulation-reiki)

[Heidi Rimstad](https://heidirimstad.com/blog/author/heidi-rimstad) 

 Jan 1, 2026 11:00:00 AM

I propose that “being” is the new “doing.”

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